Welcome to my first running diary for the NFL Draft. I will be drunk probably by pick 25, especially since we are creating a drinking game right now. 10 drinks for getting offense/defense wrong, 5 drinks just getting offense/defense 3 drinks for getting the right position, and if you get it right, you are handing out 10 drinks. This should be exciting.
6:30- It has begun and Roger Goodell has let us known that the draft will be begin. There are some rumors about Cleveland trading up to St. Louis and here we go.
6:33- We have it on our big TV which is a big accomplishment for Eric, Seet, and special guest Koz. B-squared demanded to watch LeBron and Cavs on the big TV and we had a struggle comparable to the Cold War. I would call B-squared Russia because he is a communist and we love America.
6:36- First pick is in and I am guessing Sam Bradford will be the selection or as I like to call him the Native American version of Ryan Reynolds. I think if Bradford ever gets to a stature to make a movie, Reynolds will be the actor.
6:39- Well we all got the first pick right and 22 drinks were handed to me, fair to say… Rut roh.
6:41- I wish Matt Millen was there so he could draft Dez Bryant. He is the only GM in history to be dumb enough to draft a wide receiver. Detroit Lions are on the clock now…
6:42 We are locked into Ndamukong Suh for the Lions and I didn’t realize that him/Gerald McCoy are both 6’4, wow.
6:44: Lions take Suh, we all get right and drinks are distributed to everybody, not just me rejoice! I said in my mock draft, the Lions become very scary now with their front seven, also he is a class act, good guy. Now the Bucs are on the clock.
6:47 They ask Suh the following question, How does it feel to finally be there? “It feels great, just tingles down your body.” “So like an orgasm?”-Eric. Classic response.
6:50 Yes there is a video of my weight loss on YouTube, no I will not link it but you can search for it if you choose to. Screw you Eric.
6:51 Gerald McCoy starts crying as he probably knows he will be a Buccaneer, not soon after… B-Squared calls him a “pussy”. He does it with every player that cries, I cannot explain it… he just does it. There is a hope that I come home one day to see B-Squared crying to a Lifetime movie because that would be the funniest thing in the world.
6:56 One of Mel Kiper’s best available left is Derrick Morgan and he is wearing a bowtie in his picture. High comedy, Seth replies with “Dude give him a break it’s his band picture.”
6:59 I am now 4/4. Call the Trent Williams pick when everyone had Russell Okung in the room. I am pumped to say the least. Handed out drinks and they took three for just getting the offensive line.
7:01 Suzy Kolber is discussing about how the players are all hugging Goodell. Seet replies with “They are making sure to get on his good side so when they fuck up it will not be a big deal.”
7:06 Well It’s looking like Eric Berry, I went with Okung. You cannot make this stuff up, I am owed 40 drinks, not good. He is a helluva player though, reminds me much more of Sean Taylor than Ed Reed though like everyone is saying.
7:08 Ball skills makes us all giggle and then E telling B-Squared that in fact, Brett has ball-skills. His response? “I play pocket-pool with the best of them.”
7:14 Russell Okung looks like he is getting drafted and that means we are going 5 for 6 at least watching the draft but not in the blog, we are 4/6. Koz guessed Derrick Morgan which will cost him 10 beers. I think he will be a good player going up against the big boys of the Big 12.
7:18 The guesses for the Browns 7th pick... E: Earl Thomas (Texas) Me/Brett: Derrick Morgan (GA Tech) Koz: Jimmy Clausen, his reason? Well, I think Del-homie sucks so they have to go with Clausen. You know it’s Delhomme right? Yeah, but I like how Del-Homie sounds… well then.
7:22 Shocked with Joe Haden pick, he is a helluva player but I think the Browns could have got him in the middle of the first round instead of the 7th pick of the draft. Now, we get Mitchy Raiders which will be more unpredictable than a trip to the bars on Water Street.
7:25 We tried to get Mitch on the phone to hear this thoughts on this Raider pick. A couple of them are convinced that Jimmy Clausen is going here and I am going with Bruce Campbell, E says Rolando McClain. Who knows really.
7:27 I agree with B-Squared, Gruden had a chance to beat up on Al Davis and he said good things about him. This guy fired your ass! CMOOOOOON MAAAAAAAN
7:28 Discussing the fact of Tim Tebow begin a Raider, high comedy thinking about this situation. This would not be a good situation.
7:30 Rolando McClain got drafted by the Raiders and Eric acted like he just boned Megan Fox. He got so excited, I cannot believe this happen. Once again, completely wrong meaning I am drowning in beers right now.
7:34 Another surprising pick, the Bills decided to take C.J. Spiller. It really makes no sense to me, they have so many other needs. Somewhere Joe Mead, producer of the B.S. Report is crying.
7:35 On another note, the Cavs are getting ass-blasted by the Bulls. My sports week has been fantastic so far, hopefully this leads into the weekend.
7:37 TYSON ALUALU?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?? You have got to be kidding me, the Jaguars are the new Raiders, Jesus what a dogshit pick. No wonder they have no fans. Also I wonder if Matt Millen is secretly running their team.
7:39 The Niners just traded up to the 11th pick, I think this is a Jimmy Clausen pick. I am finally buying in to this, I know I said the opposite in the Mock Draft but it doesn’t matter because I am starting to feel it.
7:42 So much for that Clausen pick, they are going with Anthony Davis at Rutgers. I do not think that is the wise decision but whatever they feel it is the right choice for them, I think he is a super young dude.
7:46 San Diego Chargers just traded up big time to get to the 12th pick and we are all stumped. Berman thought they had the details, but he didn’t. Hopefully, a rant is coming soon.
7:47 Seet just drilled Koz with a water bottle, and now he is playing Forrest Gump tennis with his bottle. I don’t think I can explain how funny this is on paper.
7:48: No one knows what going to happen. I thought it was Bulaga but then I realized they lost Jamal Williams, they are taking Dan Williams, shit.
7:50: They decide to go with Ryan Matthews, interesting decision. Many guys who were supposed to go lower are going much higher, he will do some good things for the Bolts.
7:52: The Eagles traded up for the Broncos pick and that induces the third straight social for us as a group. I wish Berman would announce the drinking game that we are doing or at least listed on the right-hand corner.
7:55: Dear Ed Werder, you have a fantastic mustache, and Cowboy Chris thinks you are a hack.
7:57 We all were riding the Earl Thomas bandwagon, and they take Brandon Graham of Michigan. Once again, we are stunned. None of us had Graham, he is the first OLB /DE hybrid to go in the draft.
8:00 Once again, everyone is on the Jimmy Clausen bandwagon for the Seahawks on the first round but I am going with Derrick Morgan.
8:05 We suck at this, but this is making for a helluva drinking game. The Seahawks take Earl Thomas, he is a great player. I love the pick for the ‘Hawks. Good job by Pete Carroll.
8:07 Jon Gruden’s orgasm for C.J. Spiller and Earl Thomas is comparable to Peter North. (Kids if you don’t know who that is, look it up.)
8:08 Comparison with A.C. Slater and Earl Thomas is absolutely ridiculous, I will leave it at that. Horrible, that is one of the worst comparison ever made. First, one is Hispanic and the other one is an African-American. How does that work?
8:09 Taco Bell conversation about how much we spend, I think people believe that we all high when we drop 10 dollars or greater on simple tacos and fat.
8:10 We all believe that the Giants are taking Derrick Morgan, the bowtie man should go here because the rumors of their Osi Unimonurya (spelling big time)
8:11 B-Squared- “We are all football fans fat?” I could answer this simply, they all love beer and fried food. Simple as that.
8:13 Jason Pierre-Paul gets drafted instead of Derrick Morgan. Please explain to me why this is good decision? Just because he does back flips? What an awful choice by the Giants.
8:14 Seal is being broken, as the Joker once said, “Here we go….”
8:19 WE FINALLY GOT ANOTHER RIGHT! Derrick Morgan to the Titans, send the drinks around baby.
8:23 At first, we were all going with Clausen and now we are starting to reconsider… Jerry Hughes, Sergio Kindle, and Dan Williams. I think no one really knows what the Niners are going to do but I am telling you they will regret not taking Clausen.
8:25 Interesting, they go with Mike Iupati and they have decided to load up on offensive line with Davis and him. Frank Gore should have a big season this year with all of these first-round o-lineman.
8:27 Dear Steelers, please draft a quarterback so I can laugh really hard. Tim Tebow would be an awesome selection. Holy shit, it’s already coming. I am taking Maurkice Pouncey
8:29 The Steelers took Pouncey and him and his brother looked like Fat Joe/Big Pun. Jesus, I wonder which Florida booster hooked you up with that chain?
8:32 Interesting the Atlanta Falcons went with Sean Weatherspoon. Everyone had him going him in the late round and he goes in the mid-round… side note.. The Bulls are choking bad right now, holy shit.
8:37 The Chicago Bulls choke is taking over our TV Screen right now, I cannot say I agree. If LeBron is known as the closer, he needs to make this shot.
8:38 They foul Sideshow Bob, I hate when teams do this. Such a cop out, let your defense win. I hate this decision so much.
8:40 While we were away, the Texans took Kareem Jackson and Cincinnati Jermaine Gersham. Still watching the game and the Broncos traded up to get the Pats pick. Somewhere Bill Simmons is crying.
8:43 Mo Williams hits an unstoppable three and now they are only down one with 3.8. This is unreal channel flipping sequence going on right now.
8:45 The Broncos decided to take the Demaryius Thomas instead of Dez Bryant. This is an obvious decision because they do not want a head case receiver after dealing Brandon Marshall.
8:48 Now the Packers are on the clock, I am hoping for Bryan Bulaga. An Iowa lineman who will be a great player and they will have some depth on the offensive lineman.
8:49 I could also see Jerry Hughes, Sergio Kindle, and who the hell knows? I mean maybe Taylor Mays. But the pick is in!!!!
8:50 I hope they take an OLB just to see Eric go on a complete rant. It would be rant of epic proportions.
8:52: BULLLLLLLAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAA I am pumped. So happy right now.
8:54 Odds that I replace Lady Gaga’s name with Bulaga in the Bad Romance song? Off the table, because that will happen when I hear it at the bars.
8:57 Pats trade down again, I have to think Bill Simmons is just pissed right now and the Cowboys are taking Dez Bryant. Wow, that is a scary wide receiver core with him and Miles Austin. He is the prototypical wide out for the Cowboys. Great choice.
9:01 I cannot believe Bryant fell to the Cowboys, he will be the guy that I will try to pick up in the fantasy leagues. Trust me,
9:04 IS TEBOW GOING TO BALTIMORE?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! OR DENVER I HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?!?!
9:05 My god he is going to the Broncos. Now, you have a three quarterback race between Brady Quinn, Tebow, and Kyle Orton. He will be such a class act for this team, I love this move.
9:07 Mel Kiper doubting Tebow being a quarterback, but let me ask you a question, has Kiper ever played a football game? I think not.
9:08 I cannot believe that Tebow went over Jimmy Clausen though, such a surprise to me. I cannot believe that happened, the Notre Dame thing is scaring people.
9:12 What a dick to the guy in the back behind Tebow that is wearing the exact same thing. I mean unless Tebow is trotting out God Threads, I do not believe this dude should wear the same shirt. C’MON MANNN.
9:13 Brett can still be a Colts fan because Tebow is a Bronco. I also now have to become a Bronco fan after hating them for years due to my love of Tebow.
9:18 Someone explain to me why Dan Williams has a jersey with a #1 on there for the Arizona Cardinals? That is stupid.
9:23 All the sudden, we are on Jimmy Clausen watch. Now, the question is will teams trade up to get Clausen? Because none of the other teams that are left will take Clausen, unless it’s Minnesota.
9:25 Another unpredictable pick with Devin McCourty, I had him out of my first round but I think they should have went with Kyle Wilson.
9:27 Oh SHIT, I have to wish my mom a happy birthday!-Eric Haha, classic because he is probably nine beers deep right now. I hope his mom reads Chuck’s Corner.
9:30 Dolphins go with Jared Odrick, and he will probably shift to DE with the 3-4 system with the Phins. It basically replaces losing Jason Taylor.
9:31 While I wait for the fans of the Jets to boo whoever they pick, according to Michael Smith they might be trading down with the Cleveland Browns.
9:37 The Jets take Kyle Wilson who people compared to Darrelle Revis. I think this is a good move, they get a good special teams player and they have some depth at corner if Antonio Cromartie gets hurt.
9:43 The Vikings traded to the Lions, what the hell? They do not need Clausen, so who are they going to take. I have no idea, even though I like Clausen… I find it very funny if he doesn’t make it out of the first round.
9:46 They take Jahvid Best, which will help them out with the Lions but you have to worry about the Brian Westbrook thing with him. Way too many concussions for me
9:52 Colts pick is in, Rodger Safford would be the correct choice right now. But they go with Jerry Hughes, good pick for them.
9:55 The Saints are the last one on the clock, they will not take Caulsen so we will have to wait til next day, wow.
10:00 We will probably be about a couple minutes left. I cannot believe Sergio Kindle is still around at 32, I personally had him at 12.
10:03 Drew Brees is everywhere, and they take a guy from Florida State. Well, off to get even more drunk.
-Charlie.
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